film.

…MAKING films, to be exact. It was here, that I first began to scratch the surface of what I’m maybe, just maybe, cut out to do on this earth. Oh-ho yes boys and girls, I spent many a gay old hour frolicking through the fresh spring sunflowers, gazing at that young, handsome farmhand working in the fields, while I watched from afar in my summer garments papa had purchased on his travels in the far east. Mildred was terribly aghast once I let loose my true feelings, but the mere sight of a..

..oh, ahem. As I was saying..

Unfortunately, less and less energy was dedicated to that hobby, until all was left was a dusty, old camera collecting..er..dust. Now in the last few months or so, the urge to do more film has once more come back to me, I even purchased a new camera, and now, I feel, is an adequete time to put it to good use.

In the next few months, I intend to begin sharing my all my finished projects, they will span a variety of different genres (I hope), and give an insight into that age old question, that I, above everyone else, have asked;

“Just what the sam heck is this blog for?!”

 Current estimated age of successful graduation: 34 years and 8 months.

WRONG!

www.malepregnancy.com

Take THAT, Universal Pictures!

Don’t you see what it’s like in this deranged wearing, blender of a world?
Everyday is an agonising ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt..

You think I’m sick? Well the only disease I’ve got is modern life, a schmuck busting gauntlet of inefficiencies and misery, that’s one long parade of;

let downs,
put downs,
trinkle downs,
shut outs,
freeze outs,
sell outs,
numbnuts,
ninkenpoops,
and nimrods.

All making everyday as much fun as waxing a flaming pontiac with your tongue,
where even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like say;
if some nymphomaniac telephone operators with the muscle control of Romanian mad slappers agree to a little strip air hockey, it’d be over before it starts. Because some vale lacking, feeder reeking, cab jockey slams his checker up your hatchback, and the cab is owned, by some piñata spanker from a Santa Ria cult in Wakampa, who starts shaking chicken bones at you, and gives you a boil on your neck so big, all it needs is Michael Jordans autograph to make it complete.

And even with all this, with all this, I still drag my sorry butt off the ceiling every morning to stick my head in the reaping machine for one more day. Knowing when it’s time to flash the cosmic cardkey at those pearly gates, I won’t be in the coffin anyway, because some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, liver, pancreas and other sorted goods, to that same Santa Ria cult.

So does anyone really wonder why anyone is hanging on to sanity by the atoms of their fingernails, while life dirty dances on their digits? And is it any real wonder, that I seem deranged? – Duckman.

Oh sure, it can SEEM like a good, funny, or even an enticing idea at first..

 But somewhere down the line..

 You just aren’t going to feel as fresh or as clean as when you started..

Pretty soon, you’ll start resenting life..

Amongst other things..

Like say, when a guy shoves a camera in your face after eating 2 or so kilos of meat.. 

Next, your body, your mind, and your general concern for your own wellbeing will either take over, or begin to fail on you..

And you’ll go back home, left to contemplate about whether what you’ve just done (or tried to) was worth what you’re left to deal with..

P.S Forgive the general n00bness of my camera skills.

The light of the past is the light which was
The wisdom of the past is the light of the past
The light of the future is the light which is to be
The wisdom of the future is the light of the future see
Yesterday belongs to the dead
Tomorrow belongs to the living
The past is certified as a finished product
Anything which has ended is finished
That which is perfect is finished
The perfect man is no exception to the rule
The perfect man of the past is made according to the rule of the past
The rule of the past is a law of injustice and hypocrisy
The revelation of the meaning of the law is revealed through the law itself
The wisdom of the past is the light of the past
The light which is to be the wisdom of the future
The light of the future casts the shadows of tomorrow

So more importantly, did you hear the one about the clown who farted?

It smelt funny.